J. trying to sell my nokia e71

2010-10-02T11:33:00.002+08:00

any takers? its a year old (bought last oct.)
jiaying2468@gmail.com quote me a price. around $300~

random parties.

2009-12-24T04:01:00.001+08:00

what a lousy way to spend a day.

the present and the future

2009-12-17T03:01:00.001+08:00

maybe its time to move on

Take my hand, we'll make it. i swear

2009-12-14T01:10:00.002+08:00

Romance does not need romantic things,

as love doesnt need things to love,

and friendship does not need befriending

and the perfect kiss doesn't need to be.

letter to a boy

2009-11-19T21:13:00.002+08:00

How to Write a Love Letter to a Boy You Do Not Know

Find out the boy's name and write "Dear (insert name)" at the top of the page.
Talk about what you like about him and a little about yourself.
Try to use good spelling and grammar.
Sign it "Love, (insert name here)", or leave your name out if you wish to remain anonymous, whilst hinting at who you are.
Try putting a picture of yourself in the card.
Put it in something noticeable like a purple envelope, or something more discreet if you think he'll find it embarassing, and have a friend give it to him or put it in his locker. If you don't know what his locker number is, ask one of his friends.
If you're the confident type, find him, walk straight up to him and hand it to him with a smile. Don't talk too much to him.

if only it were that simple

i never forgot

that november

'Cause nothin' lasts forever Even cold November rain

2009-11-19T20:56:00.002+08:00

i feel fucked up

2009-11-16T23:39:00.003+08:00

omg. jiaying is turning into an angel.

cant believe this, but i think im growing out of my naughtiness for real, unwittingly. i have clubbed, drank, gotten high, played enough in these few years, and i just dont find it exciting anymore. right when all my friends are enjoying all these vices/relationships. this is really wierd. like. i dont see the point of getting shit drunk and grinding some guy if im not into him in reality. give me ____ and i will f-ing grind him til i turn sore. but other than that, i dont really care.

or maybe i have been like that all along, just that it was always tempting for me to touch forbidden fruit, and now that i am free to do all these things, i find them stupid.

whenever i do any of those things listed above, its all for my friends. not for some horny stranger. and i think im uber cool.

2009-11-16T18:57:00.002+08:00

its the time of year that i love best, christmas. every year, the whole of november up to jan, the light drizzle, the huge and exorbitant christmas trees just seep into you this wonderful feeling that cant be explained. maybe its from watching love actually so many years back when i was a secondary 2 student forming my ideas about love. its not a date, its a feeling. and that is christmas. that very feeling is exacerbated if you have someone to walk under the lights with. and its enough just even to have that fantasy. as long as you can put a face to the person.

but before that special period, STUDY. dec 11. be nice to me.

this christmas i doubt i will physically have someone, but thats the beauty of it. in reality, nothing is perfect. but in the world of dreams, it becomes magic. as long as i have someone to look at from afar and to put in my mind before i close my eyes, im content.

and its better to have a million friends than to have one person, for now. that can come later. but first, MAMBO!

playhouse

2009-11-08T13:08:00.002+08:00

choreographing 2 dances in the last 3 mths really was no mean feat, and i was at my wits end trying to make everything work during the past few weeks. however, their success (not only did we win overall best play) in both putting up a good show and making good friends really is something i can be proud of, and i really feel good about growing in my dancing in this aspect, in contrast with last yr's me, who could only dance choreographed ballet, and had to practice hip hop endlessly to perfect that feel. being in medicine this year really made me explore all my undeveloped interests in the performing arts, and i am really excited about whats to come in the next few months when i take part in a musical(yes i am singing omg haha).

as for friendships gained, i really am thankful to have such wonderful people around me who i can depend on. although i was probably a total bitch during some of the dance practices, they still love me(i hope).

thanks God

choice, good or bad

2009-11-05T01:56:00.003+08:00

i've always been thinking of this one, due to GP lessons. which actually, looking back, were really preparing us for adult life.

i think there needs to be a third variable: freedom

so, instead of choice or no choice;

-freedom of choice

-freedom without choice

-no choice or freedom

-choice without freedom (this is stupid. if u have no freedom u will automatically have no choice)

lets do an analogy,

1. freedom of choice is like being single. u are free to choose who you want to be with. simple enough.

2. freedom without choice is like being attached. technically u are not married so u have the freedom to pick the person you love/need/want, but you have no other choice except your girl/boyfriend. this gives rise to 2 situations, either you are sure that you are with the right guy, happily in love, or you are not sure, and you are in a dilemma whether you should explore your options of dating around to find out more, risking your relationship, breaking up, resulting in being single (option 1)

3. no choice and no freedom is like being betrothed. you have no say in who u are marrying, and its not like you can change it. so you take what u get. so you have little option other than to be happy with what you have, to make the most out of life for the next 60 yrs.

who is the happiest person? sounds like the single person, who doesnt have to worry about anything.

however that only applies to monks. most people will want a relationship at some point of time, and will have to make a choice, resulting in a situation of "no choice"

conclusion: (and this applies to more than this topic)

its not whether you have choice/freedom that makes you happy

its your happiness that, if you find it in life (no matter what life you have), gives you satisfaction.

and when you are satisfied, .

2009-10-22T00:25:00.003+08:00

i am thankful for

-knowing that i have serious character problems

-trying to deal with them

-having the space to sort them out on my own

-having had the opportunity to excel in so many things that others dont

-trying my best to be nice

i need to stop

-being such a piss ass attitude problem

-thinking im perfect

-getting annoyed at every small thing that doesnt go my way

-judging other people

i need to start

-smiling more

-accepting people for the way they are

-being more patient

-being more kind

-being happy

-relaxing and being less uptight

my god i sound like a horrible old granny.

go jiaying you can do it

2009-10-19T00:04:00.003+08:00

my life is filled. but somehow it feels like it lacks smth. like an exciting love story. everynight before i fall asleep i close my eyes and my mind turns blank. i have no one to crush on no one to think about. HOWWW. damn sian.

life is a bitch

2009-10-12T17:08:00.002+08:00

i can write a good soap opera. several in fact. just based on my life alone. and only God can help me out of this shit im in. rahh.

-.-

2009-10-12T00:47:00.001+08:00

like. i know u have a right to feel like shit, but seriously this is bordering on annoyance alr.

waves

2009-10-07T18:23:00.005+08:00

today is emo day. because he did fill my world with colours for over a year. and he probably doesnt get the whole picture. and i am also thinking of reasons for my wave of sadness, after all i did want to end it.

Am i emo just because i am guilty? or do i really want him back?

i doubt i am emo because i am guilty anymore. been there done that. this feels like a new thing altogether. i think i miss him. but i dont know if i want to go back to where i came from.

my gripes were that i felt like the man in the relationship, and that he was evasive of things he didnt want to know, things that i told him and he effectively ignored, which often left things unsolved. i am my own person, he is God's person. i am active, he is passive. i am wild, he is down to earth. i felt slightly dampened by his pisces character.

i think now all i hope for is him to understand that i have been the best i could be this past year. for i believe that love is making someone happy, and i did put many a smile on his face, even when i did not feel up to it. i really tried my best, and if i messed up, it was truly unintentional. i am not one of those girls who flutters from guy to guy in school, batting their mascara-ed eyelashes. im the "dont come near me i am not interested" and "i really do bite, go away" kind. and i mean it. i really tried.

i just hope he knows.

Close

2009-09-30T00:10:00.002+08:00

well truly God has made it such that the path for me now is to move on. innately its my own folly, but ultimately it is a cause and effect after all. we all make mistakes, just make sure they are made at a non-critcal point of time. and im okay. slightly deflated, but forseeing myself as a better whole, ready to pursue whatever dreams she had before boys came into her life. i wanna be a STAR! and thats what i shall be. acting, painting, writing, singing, dancing... this is only the beginning!

2008-11-13T22:34:00.003+08:00

had the first HANGOVER that had to do with puke today. omg. thought i'd never drink so much. and park was right. it was fun. until you start puking your guts out. and i hate puke that tastes like f*king LONG ISLAND. HATE.

wells. happy holidays, young people. uni students still have school DAMNIT.

Fun Facts

2008-10-11T00:16:00.001+08:00

did you know your knee cap is really a cap?? haha. can take off one.

and your feet look like crap as a skeleton. like what the hell is wrong with me i look so weird man.

chomp chomp

2008-10-05T02:49:00.003+08:00

darling kaypo ruiyang. i know you are reading this cos you freaking stalk my blog. haha. thanks for arranging the supper night addison-hope my perception of you is correct. lol and lastly. stupid ronghua you think you very smart ahhh go kaypo about me in med school haha. you love me dont ya.

goodnight

2008-10-04T00:10:00.002+08:00

New friends.. new life.. new home away from home... new school.. new (and very lousy) teachers...

Just when you think you are getting used to school, they give you a wonderful holiday. and then you hate school from scratch again. i woke up on monday cursing and had a rather shitty week. especially today. tutorials with that stupid tutor of mine just KILLS me. useless shit. and problems with that stupid toyota made me quite ANNOYED.

anyway im back home now and even with my missing waterbed i still love my home. love my family and everything in the east. F the west lah loser shits. love eastcoast and siglap.. i'm very tired of school man. sigh.

i just hope im not gonna fail med school. i figured physics people are at the bottom of the list already and since i dont even go for my lectures all the time im damn dead. but then again why stress. when you feel shitty dont study lor. haha.

but on a brighter note, i think my world is turning colourful again. but i better not be too absorbed in the colours or else when they are taken away then i think my world will just never be coloured again. took damn long to see again. and to anyone trying to take those colours away from me.. you better watch out. i miss my old colour schemes sometimes though. especially when they call you just to "catch up". quite sian during that few weeks but everything is fine now.

serhua you better meet me to do hair im dying to manage the bloody thing hanging from my head.

2008-09-21T22:56:00.002+08:00

med sch is queer. RJC people are crazy muggers and VJC people are ultimate slackers. hall people are chiongster clubbers, and there are so many weird people. haha. they strip to their muscle tee's to flex about infront of lectures after "muscles". anyway its thought provoking-must find out why i came here. or else id have no motivation to study.

i cant stand certain people in school but i guess im already being nicer than normal so its okay to not like them. as for my vjc class, haha. they will always be my number one classmates! see you guys soon! hope the social night was fantabulous

2008-08-17T02:13:00.001+08:00

My life rocks. parties... friends... school... hall... dance.... michael... haha. it just rocks. see you guys on sunday!

batman

2008-07-19T01:54:00.002+08:00

the movie was stunning to me. very deep and philosophical. as someone would say,

"you have to appear to be evil in order to do good"

"in order to do win the joker, you must lose as batman"

love the part where they had to kill the other boat to survive. although i prob would have scrambled to push the button.

im trying to make my own philosophies now. should start my own story on myself actually. or else i'll forever be someone else's shadow.

but its true, the first line.

the art of orientation

2008-07-16T14:27:00.002+08:00

just had a very cool conversation about politics, life and many other crazy things. haha. that was nice:)

i am here to complain about meeting new people in uni. i cant stand acting nice and being fake. so i dont. but i think everyone outside my OG thinks im a mean bitch lol. oh well. and dance is kinda dumb. im doing a small part which i dont mind it being small and lame. cos i have my own dance outside. but the practices are one hour everyday. it takes triple that time for travelling!!!! what a stupid waste of my time.

actually was thinking a bit why the heck i am in med. cos everyone was looking at textbooks in the school bookshop thing, while i was looking at cookbooks and herbology and flower essences. but i guess passions wouldnt be passions if they were full time jobs. and im quite excited to open my new A'level biology book. haha. so here goes.

med camp

2008-07-10T20:03:00.002+08:00

i cant stand people who are overly enthusiastic in camps. im always happy to slack and rest until something like captains ball comes up and then i'll play with all my heart. but u ask me to cheer and get so enthu about cheering... i'll whack u lor. lol. i was rather nice until some guy was overly enthu. then i got a bit bitchy. some more it was 4 days, so i would definitely be myself to a certain extent. but it was fun. got along with most people, i would say. talked to everybody and didnt really subject people to prejudices. found out loads of interesting stuff about the quiet ones too.

realised i really like hanging out with guys more than girls, but i do need girl friends so yeah. guys tend to debate on deeper things and they are jokers, while girls tend to talk a lot about guys. that and the fact that guys play soccer and girls just sit around. not saying that girls are not fun to hang around, and i do love my class girls. so yeah. differences between girls and guys.

1 more mth to school starts, and they said it would be a lot of studying. i guess that would be hard. lol. but i can deal. going for dance auditions tml. better not ache too much today, although i have ballet l8r and am already aching from lack of sleep and soccer. my toenails are so bombed. should really clean them soon haha.

2008-06-23T23:53:00.002+08:00

met my all time fav classmates on fri night. small changes in everyone, but basically personality doesnt change very much. had quite a lot of fun and congrats to all the ocs people. lol. found out more about myself and its all good.

worked at nydc just now with this ite drop out, who really came across to me as smarter than some jc people. pity he was born in the wrong background, or else he probably would have been in jc. whoever asks the question "what is life" or "what is love" is definitely not stupid. and he only went into normal stream cos he failed chinese. psle was AABD. dang. feel quite sorry for him.

my thoughts were much deeper just now but i guess it wore off. so til next time.

miss ya.

2008-06-18T00:46:00.003+08:00

back to the chronicles and life and times of LJY. soap operatic as usual, and no drama is spared. i must say i have contemplated suicide and all other things included to decrease the pain i injected into them. but nah. ive got a bright future after all.

although no one is perfect, some are more suitable than others. and whenever one feels an ounce of hurt, i feel 10. so everything is just harder than ive ever known it could be. but come what may. and this is just all part of growing up. sorry. really. to both.

2008-06-17T01:43:00.000+08:00

yeah

today is 17.6.2008

3 years from that day.

damn

bali

2008-06-10T00:15:00.002+08:00

just dragged myself back to singapore from bali, and my face is peeling due to the immense sunburns i garnered while surfing. or at least trying to surf. it looks super fun and cool and easy, but its hell. haha. just dragging your board against the waves out to sea causes you to almost drown everytime and i think i swallowed enough salt to last me a year already. the water went through my nose so much that i fell sick with fever, and according to my dad i have some kind of water infection in the nose. lol. that causes me to spit balls of green goop. haha. but i must say that when you finally stand on the board or get it right, the timing and the heaving yourself up to stand although you already ache like mad all over, is quite rewarding. of course i cant do tricks and flips, but yeah. i achieved quite a good beginner's level. bali's beaches are gorgeous, and just travelling an hour or so will get you to the highest volcanoes and mountain scenic spots. which really are breathtaking. but a spoiler was that all the people will keep bugging you to buy their wares while you are soaking up the view. i had to give them my evil glare and say a very loud and curt NO before they inched away reluctantly. shopping wise, it was okay. not fantastic. and the thai massages are way better than balinese ones. but really bali is beautiful. even their hotels are one of a kind. we sneaked into hard rock cafe's hotel and it was, spectacular. the pool was sprawling and it had a mini beach inside with sand and pavilions that had private curtains on stilts above the pool, so people could you know what. haha. but seriously romantic. and yeah.. i want my honeymoon in bali. lol so. back to my hectic schedule of tuition, work and lessons.... sigh...

2008-05-28T23:53:00.002+08:00

who wants to go shopping with me!??!?!?! dang. need clothes like real bad. the sales are running out on stocks alr!!!! shoot..

yeah. the sky, the beach rocks at 7.30. perfect colours.

2008-05-27T01:37:00.002+08:00

Things to do before August 2.

Quit my job. Kinda hard. cos i like working there. but need to settle my stuff too.

Pack my room. i tried. and completed phase 1 which was 0.05%

Get new clothes. I need a black t shirt. how freaking hard is it to find a black t shirt??!??! ugh.

Read some useful books.

Sew something cos obviously shopping is harder every time new and weird fashion trends come up. cant they sell NORMAL stuff?

2008-05-26T01:45:00.002+08:00

the concert went fairly well, thanks to someone who went there specially. reminder: u owe me loads of stuff. haha.

there was this cute guy who was sec 2 that was my eye candy from last concert... omg... damn cute. eloquent and cool and everything. AWW.

and i kept laughing at some jaychou wannabes who were totally pitch deaf and constipated.

my mom has been a treacherous f- bitch. parents are supposed to be mature, not acting like a spoilt brat, commanding the respect she doesnt deserve.

but. sigh. parents. you always have to say sorry although u dont mean it.

weekend is over. my rest days begin. haha. i rest on weekdays. lol. poor, sad, unhappy army guys.

The Ant

2008-05-24T01:05:00.003+08:00

The Ant on a stranger's back,

is one that on him might attack.

Instinct commands me to make haste and smack,

But then i'd get a return whack.

I wonder if i should squish it,

To tap him or flick it.

It is disturbing to watch it, i must admit,

Like velvet cake with plenty of grit.

It makes its way slowly,

Utilizing every nook wholly.

Since his shirt was so flabby,

Seriously making me crabby.

The stranger, oblivious,

Would mistake me for being advantageous.

The ant, so annoying it was,

So i did what should garner applause.

I waited for the right moment,

When i could see where the ant went.

And he would not resent,

Me spoiling his gaming intent.

I reached out and poked on cue,

Telling him what i had to pursue.

The ant oozed through,

But not a word of thank you!

The ingrate! I berate.

Did you grow up eating from a silver plate?

Just await your fate!

I should have let the ant stay there to mate!

Its my stop to get off,

And i learnt my lesson thereof.

Just leave the ant to spread germs and bite

And spare yourself the frazzled plight.

2008-05-23T01:20:00.003+08:00

just made myself a late night snack of linguini. the darling microwave saves a hell load of washing up.

nus:)

2008-05-19T00:10:00.000+08:00

enough said. gonna be Dr. Lee. :)

life

2008-05-14T01:14:00.002+08:00

guess more things happened in these few days than i ever thought will. but i think that all is good now. at least everyone is feeling better and at least friends. thats besides the fact that i was thinking my life sucked a few hours before. thanks for cheering me up. its prob cos im worried and selfish that maybe by the time i have actually decided, all the people i care about would have found another person. by i guess thats also good in a sense that they would be happy. hmm. better a sucky life than a sad life. haha. and i think i learn more about myself through each crisis. yeah and perhaps oneself is determined by not who she is, but how she reacts to different situations. like i am easily irritated sometimes, and patient sometimes. but it doesn't mean I'm fickle. just that i react differently when the need arises. so. life goes on. i would say that its okay.

sorry

2008-05-13T00:00:00.003+08:00

sorry it cant be red with you-at least for now.

sorry just when u thought there was progress i took ten steps back.

sorry i don't know what will happen.

sorry i cant forget.

it seems im still stuck at the fork in the road. but one thing is certain: you need a lifetime to get over your first love ever. and ten other lifetimes to find another.

so im just going to find myself first. sorry.

who is jiaying.

2008-05-11T23:13:00.005+08:00

hahahahhaha. im teaching tuition for $75 an hour. SO BEAT THAT SERHUA. haha. my art that side got one guy going korea for 2 mths so ask me to cover. and thats his pay. lol. its for 3 kids at one time. but still. haha. my friendliness always pays off.

hmm. but for now, im really free. too free. should like. read my dad's investment books or sth. OMG. or go search for another job. I WANNA TEACH PIANO!!!!

today art was fun. the kids i got were generally cute and playful, but in an adorable way. like when my friend asked my for my lunch order, my kids said "i want also!" haha. so i gave them some of my bee hoon ("if u all finish fast and be really good.") haha. damn cute. should bring sweets next time. i dont like those that dont talk and are really sullen. boring sad life people. haha.

hm. tennis was gross. flies kept landing on me and i think at one stage i spat out a tick. yuck.

emo-ing. about uni courses. again. feel very wierd. like why am i taking medicine and will i get sick of it and jump ship to sth else. someone in art is going to boston to research at MIT with the dreamworks people in digital animation. WHICH IS SO COOL. which obviously i will never do. sigh. and wat about my business plan. sian. someone please tell me why and what to choose. partly cos im also anxiously apprehensive about the application process and outcome. and whether to go for the double degree business interview or not. cos it looks so unofficial and lame. and i can definitely get into business. so applying for double degree after 1 year of business is still acceptable.

wish i could just press the "help" button on my computer and then help will come. sian. also today i woke up feeling strange again.

its like im reinventing myself after the breakup. growing up... becoming a different person-that i am liking better i must admit. at least im not the childish unreasonable abusive attitude-problem girl. feeling more grown up, prioritising more and putting family and friends first, becoming more patient and understanding, to say the least. but it still feels kinda sucky when i start thinking too much. cos he was, after all, important in a universal sense. so it is still quite a loss. but the time has come to jump off the nest and learn what it means to be jiaying, as a person. who is jiaying and what is she like. kind of thing. and i think i have to do it as a whole. find myself, before finding another guy of that multitude of loving. i guess its a gradient. everything. from red(crazy love) to orange(souring) to yellow(turning point) to green(period of drying up/wringing of soaked towel) to blue(weirdness) to purple... then to red again. i dont know what is purple. maybe i dont dare to know. havent truly stepped into the vastness and intensity of purple. but. i know its the one before red again. so.

and its like i have split personality. sometimes i am a certain way, others i am totally opposite. need to incorporate both sets into one uniform whole. (and to think just the other day i was giving advice on this. please.) finding someone is easy. finding yourself is the hardest and longest journey of all. and i bet even centurions havent truly found themselves. haha. maybe its my turn to take a walk. need some fresh air in my brain. but maybe only robots are designed to be predictable and solid. maybe all humans are vividly changing everyday. so many f ing maybes.

i guess when u are in something like an organisation(even if it consists of 2 people.. haha) it sorta moulds you and gives you identity. so maybe i am very arty now. and in JC i was sporty and christian, not to mention attached. hmm. so last time i didnt have any identity crisis issues. haha. i guess its good to be free of strong organisations that, like a foggy maze, steers you in an unknown but sure direction.. only to lead you to be more lost than ever when all that idiot fog clears. so now. my maze is clear. but all the walls have disappeared and im left with vast empty space, with a hammer and a box of nails to build my own path. yeah. i feel like i have to dig for my own moss and cut my own trees for the walls of my path. but on the bright side, i have basic tools to fund my cause.

so. anyone, tell me if this is true to you too. do you know who you are? such a fundamental question, yet so complicated. maybe another question to others who know me better, who is the jiaying you know?

omg. i sound alien

2008-05-10T20:10:00.002+08:00

after i gave my mom the set of crockery i bought from ikea which was so GORGEOUS, she was SLIGHTLY appeased. but still AP.

kitchen shopping is the most fun of all.... haha. very satisfyingly holistic. thanks for helping me choose. haha.

maybe fathers day i shall do up the garden for them. lol.

oh ya. the map. was.... haha. but i didnt get lost.

2008-05-09T23:56:00.002+08:00

met up with my long lost pri sch friend just now. i guess not much has changed.. although everyone goes through some PHASE in their lives, everyone is still the same inside. but of course she was like OH MY GOD I CANT BELIEVE MY PRI SCH CLASSMATE JUST DROVE ME HOME. haha.

attention:

diva has an extreme sale. go. i bought a set of 3 earrings for 2.50

and yeah. this week is pay week. OH YEAH. i just got my tuition and nydc pay. my art pay is coming soon. cool shit.

and. happy mothers day weekend. i guess it is inevitable. haha. but yah. true we need to say thank you.

ITS THE WEEKEND!!!!!! i love weekends. esp sat. COS I REFUSE to work on saturdays:)

Driving.

2008-05-08T00:11:00.003+08:00

it sucks. u know why? cos of idiots who make me swear and curse when they cause me to stop/be scared/slowdown/freakout. and not only that. idiot busdrivers that i have always had a hatred for- their asses are so big and yet they wanna cut lanes. DUMBOS.

and tml i have isat at god knows where. and im not driving cos of erp and parking and i have to go nydc after that and the same thing. so im still stuck at square one. COME ON MAN. WAT THE HELL IS WITH SINGAPORE AND PARKING. AND PLEASE BLOODY CONNECT BUKIT TIMAH TO ECP OR STH ASSES. oh wells. i have cash. can take cab. lolz.

so dudes. driving. is overrated in singapore.

and

MY PIMPLES. are driving me insane.

i think my rhymes rock. haha. love ya

change2

2008-05-07T12:08:00.000+08:00

did you know that "cat" is indonesian for paints?

anyway.

if i could change the colour of anything,

i would colour you white.

for white is pure and simple,

right and bright.

if i could change the colour of everything,

i would paint you grey.

for grey is thinking,

and u do that everyday.

if i could change the colour of something,

i would make you black.

for black is solid and safe,

and withstand attack.

i would wish you purple,

for purple is small.

i would tint you blue,

to match my wall.

a sheen of green,

for your love for the earth.

orange for your zest

and red for your mirth.

and last but not least,

the brightest of bold.

not plain yellow,

but good, glaring gold.

for your heart,

your character,

for your caring soul.

for your truth,

your surrender,

for your forgiving toll.

with this poem,

i deeply express.

my regret and mistake

that i hope to address.

change

2008-05-06T23:26:00.000+08:00

the lioness leaps at its unsuspecting prey,

missing it by mere inches.

she roars and darts toward the herd at full speed as they spring away in fear.

she manages to claw a few close to her,

deeply wounding one.

it falls and looks up at her with unblinking pain.

for it had been closest,

fully aware of danger.

exploring its boundaries of the lionesses land.

trustingly grazing with a childlike hope that,

it was protected from greater danger.

with the lioness near.

so as she grips his skin between teeth and paw,

ready to tear fresh meat.

she realizes.

that up to this her prey still held a prayer,

that the lioness would turn.

and leave him to continue grazing near her faithfully.

those eyes of ebony and that trusting faith,

melted the fiery lioness.

and she let her grip weaken.

she licked at his scars awkwardly,

then retreated to her nest.

unknowingly as she rested her head on her paws,

she let out a soft,

delicate purr.

2008-05-06T22:50:00.002+08:00

haha. passed my driving test with horrible colours. i got 18 pts. haha. better than ang xin yi. haha. (dear i still love you:)) but still. haha. one more mistake to failure. but i passed!!!! smack that idiot tester. drove home and to tuition to celebrate. haha.

my days are nonsense. i need an extra saturday in between today and tml. just to catch my breath.

and to say the very least, thanks. for being the best. :)

2008-05-05T20:07:00.003+08:00

driving test tml................ nuff said.

class bbq my house vesak weekend organised by park. contact him for details. park. im not organizing anything. haha.

and thank you xinyi. haha. i know im pretty right.

and i think i teach history pretty darn well. getting compliments from my sister. haha. to random people who need tuition. please hire me.

2008-05-04T22:40:00.002+08:00

class outing-

great as usual. haha. love park, serhua and kailee. we watched naked girls and guys on labour day. lol. guantanamo bay was quite whacked, but fun. we shall go on a korea trip before school starts. haha. anyway wats left of our class is only us. i shall be AP.

an entire day of kids is killing me. now i know serhua's pain-gained-money-making-cons. sian. i almost strangled/fought with some kid today. and after that i had tuition. which was tiring in another way. but kids. omg. please. i dunno why i want them actually. maybe its only to play with their clothes and their hair like barbie dolls.

so to all of the people having tests and stuff this week, SMILE. haha. MINE'S OVER.

and i said shit twice in my interview.

so tml will be another busy day as usual. NYDC, I DUN NEED YOUR 5 BUCKS AN HOUR. SO STOP PESTERING ME TO WORK.

2008-04-29T20:39:00.004+08:00

mothers day is around the corner. and my mom is pissing me off. she really doesnt understand the idea of being nice so i will feel good about giving her my planned gifts. now i think i shall just wait for father's day and give my dad the stuff i thought of.

and i expect dinner to be ready after a long day outside. not finding out my mom told my maid to cook late cos they were going ben and jerry's w/o me just to spite me. leaving me HUNGRY. too bad im not eating the 8.30pm dinner. gonna be SKINNIER than that fat woman.

enough ranting. the world better be nice to me tml.

and class outing thurs meet 12pm at orchard. the rest who havent replied, hurry up. park, serhua, peifang and kailee(maybe) are going. if the rest dun come we'll still have a fun time w/o u all.

my crown

2008-04-25T00:01:00.002+08:00

i hate being an emo queen. what's done is done.

ballet was good today. i need new shoes tho. proper ones that i didnt take from the lost and found box. and new pointe shoes. shall go sonata tml. or sth.

it not a regret. but like a tattoo, i'll always have you.

boys are trouble.

2008-04-22T23:10:00.004+08:00

this is spectacular. im proud of myself. for getting the kid to do this. esp when she is quite lousy.

feeling disillusioned by all things today. the uncertainty of forever, and the forever in commitment, lest u become immediate enemies after severing commitment ties.

on the brighter side, i completed my damned portfolio for medicine. travelled singapore to get my recommendation letters. tml i have to chiong my dentistry one. which is a little less damned. and every day is a race with Mr. postman. see who comes first. or risk being blacklisted for missing unimportant and cruel datelines.

and since im complaining. lets just say that i saw my ex ballet friend who is not that pretty, not that skinny and not that tall in a miniskirt and heels i wouldnt wear. sorry for being bitchy. i know im fat too. but she is fatter. and for that i didnt say hi. oops. haha. im mood swinging, dont blame me. and at gelare i saw some actor that obviously looks better in real life. and less gay. the guy who interviews sports people on channel 5.

still complaining, i hated my lunch. and people who walk infront of me while i drive. and cause me to panic. bastards beyond hell's wrath. if on may 6th anyone decides to do that, i will hunt you down and burn your heart and feed it to my neighbour's dog.

just a side note to people dropping by. im not always this horrible. haha.

my dear s55 ppl

2008-04-18T00:34:00.004+08:00

went out with park, serhua, kailee just now. and i must say that it was really fun. we talked non stop for what, 5 hours. haha. which was fantastic. thanks and love you, guys. addison, we'll ask u out too next time and we can be the non-army gang. haha

few groups of people who will be with you through life

1. family

2. school friends

3. work friends

4. soul mate

(ranked in no particular order)

so ya lar. u are all my very important school friends:) including the sad life losers who are in army. but girls are more fun to hang out with, admit it. haha

park. haha. it was cool hearing your story (and your secret ranking /10)

next class outing is sorta confirmed: serhua's house stay over on 26th april.

and have a great weekend ahead.

the past few days

2008-04-16T00:06:00.003+08:00

stuff my 6 year old students drew:) haha. feel accomplished

this is my spectacular view in my room

kay thanks serhua for recommending me tuition. cos im really underpaid.. lol.. last mth only got 400 bucks. kind of child labour. see u on thurs!!! and kailee too.

really busy with my driving test, cos i havent even started module 3 and my driving test is next mth may 6. so im chionging lessons. and i suck at driving, always very kanchiong about traffic lights and lane changing. sucks. just praying i can pass. lol

yeah and my family started this sunday night tennis thing which i am still aching over. and i whacked myself in the hand so there is a massive bruise forming now. but i adore it. damn fun. love whacking balls. lol. and a hint of my old skill is still there in me. haha. YO.

read some hilarious article in the papers about women loving to see men being tortured. i think it is quite true. haha. no offence. they were talking about this teeth horror movie about mens things getting chewed off.

really surprised at myself for being able to teach kids. cos i always thought of torturing them last time. its growing on me.. haha. maybe i'll be a great mom next time after all.

gonna be really fat. damn greedy these days. darn. lol. well at least i played badminton with my mom instead of flopping over the couch this morning.

and yeah. its been a great __ weeks/months/days. im hooked on that -love you just the way u are- song. haha. see ya soon.

2008-04-04T16:20:00.002+08:00

been thinking a lot lately. which is confusing. so shall not think. lol.

im such a bum. been sleeping until after lunch and watching tv and maxed out my tv time. esp since i only have like 1 channel worth watching. so really bored of it. shall go find sth nice on history channel.

and shall find sth to do too.

My culinary epitome

2008-04-01T23:57:00.003+08:00

yesterday i cooked raviolli and BBQ beef steak. SHIOK. all from scratch. sauces all my own, pasta all made from eggs and flour and spinach. it was the epitome of my cooking career. up til now. will think of more stuff to cook up a storm with. so proud of myself. my aunts birthday, so i invited 3 aunts to my hse to sample my food. they initially thought i bought the raviolli. lol. cos it was a perfect green and the meat inside was seasoned perfectly.

the steak sauce was courtesy of jamie oliver's TV programme and was the best i have ever tasted.

thanks to discovery travel and living, and to the first and only guy who ever suggested i watch it. although i havent contacted him in a few mths now. lol. thanks to him i started my cooking career.

and thanks to my darling who encourages me everyday to cook great stuff, never once mocking me or ridiculing my endeavors:) thanks.

and to my ah yi's too, who ate my food without complaint, even praisingly, at my overcooked steak and bringing me flowers.

and most imptly to my family who are my ultimate guinea pigs, kitchen staff and sponsors. thanks

tml shall be another cooking session cos my colleague wants my schedule for tml night so im free after piano. shall be inspired by my TV programmes. and hopefully i can talk on the phone blissfully like today with my darling.

well, i should really do other stuff rather than cook and eat all day. like practice my damned piano for tml morning and ask people out. but i so love to create food my piano teacher wants to hang me upside down and swing me. plus ive gained 4kg from cooking after we stopped eating gross fish and veg for dinner. shit.

the f-ed up dish washer at NYDC is giving sprays of bleach. it is killing my lungs. and today was so busy the malays were even deprived of their regular smoke. crazy bastards who go for dinner at NYDC on a tuesday night at 10pm AFTER we cleaned up. asking to work as a waitress/cashier as well to see how things go at the other side. and to have a change of atmosphere or else i'll grow pimples due to the frying of nuggets etc.

til my next culinary adventure. photos soon.

thanks:)

2008-03-30T23:35:00.004+08:00

Thanks to all the people around me, my birthday was a memorable one:)

to the NYDC girls, thanks for all the photo taking and the talking.

to angie and the jap team, thanks for the cake and the dinner party.

to my darling, thanks for the cookies and the card:) and just rushing down to see me for 2 hours.

to VJ06s55, thanks for the ice cream cloud 9 and the outing. you all are like my family already. haha.

to all the people who wished me a happy birthday, thanks:) and to everyone who did not, its okay, i still love you. haha.

ive got some photos to upload. but for now, im really exhausted from a day starting with softball, followed by art classes, and finally NYDC. but it was a good day. so gnight:)

till next time, really love talking to u:)

my super power

2008-03-26T09:12:00.002+08:00

i watched on tv that this guy had telekinesis and could bend metal and manipulate it to find oil sources. that kinda got into my head and i dreamt that i had my own super powers last night. lol. writing it down so i dont forget. cos this is one cool power.

the ability: to manipulate colours and light by waving my hand in different motions.

cool shit. like i twitch my fingers and different colours start swirling around the room in patterns like flowers. yo. should come up with a name for it.

pineapple rice

2008-03-24T19:54:00.004+08:00

i made pineapple rice today. by dumping stuff into the rice cooker. tumeric, netmeg, cinnamon, pineapple slices, raisins and pandan leaves and sugar. and it was really fun cos i cut the pandan from my yard. lol. damn rural. and the smell was awesome. but the taste was rather weird. shouldnt have added sugar. lol. the raisins are sweet enough. and it was more of a porridge. and it was flooded with ingredients. should smash the pineapples up or the huge chunks overpower the rice. oh wells. next time will be better. AND I FORGOT TO ADD THE MEAT FLOSS! sigh.

growing very fat now. lol. all the meals and deserts. there's some downstairs right now. lol

Malaysia, food, horses and family

2008-03-23T23:31:00.002+08:00

back from malaysia just today. and really, malaysia has this ultra gross aura that extends from its horrible ecosystem of beggars, crime, dirty water, overfed rats and mudskippers... totally dislike the place.

but was rather impressed by the horse farm we stayed at, the building was nicely furnished-the moment of arrival.. compared to where we ate seafood at.

dont be fooled tho, loads of unidentified insects await, and the many lizards obviously dont do their job of keeping them at bay. flies just LET you whack them/step on them. sickening shits.

and my poor sister fell off her horny horse. lol. and is ultra sad cos her ballet exam is in weeks and is currently in pain even when sneezing.

the food was great, but VERY slow. its an hour between courses. but i forgive them because its the country of slow flies. the food was really designer style.. decorated and carefully positioned. so i loved it. but i hated the diluted cheapskate expensive juices.

what was most enjoyable was mainly the family bonding over hours of scrabble and boggle (oh yes im so intellectual) and it was fun fighting with my brother as usual, suaning my dad as usual, and making my mom feel bad about her oldness etc. as usual. thanks dad.

the first thing i got back was u

something ive missed

and shall til further notice.

the last walk nearby

was the best.

looking forward to more.

and for saturday, (or perhaps, friday)

the price tag will be thrown away

but the memory will stay.

FOOD

2008-03-20T01:50:00.004+08:00

Just realised how crazy about food i sound on my blog. while everyone has photos of themselves, i have pics of my food. lol. actually i love food.. haha. more than anything. makes me happy when others eat my food. heh.

just sent Mr. Kwek some scholarship rubbish that if i get, i would prob stay in singapore. lol. actually singapore is really great. the scenery is fantastic, especially when u are walking around the CBD with someone special:) haha.-in retarded circles, i must add. but its still picturesque anyway.

2008-03-18T20:51:00.001+08:00

today's dinner, soba with sour teriyaki sauce, and tofu salad that my sis said rocked. and its hard to get compliments outta her lol

pics and videos

2008-03-18T15:10:00.004+08:00

this is one of the 4 videos i took. but mostly they show the guys doing the same thing. haha.

gourmet cooking

2008-03-18T00:34:00.004+08:00

cooked a wonderful meal today for dinner. haha. the best ive ever cooked, i must say. both looked good and tasted terrific. proud of myself. beef roast with herbs and baked potatoes, oregano potato mash with melted cheese and bacon, potato salad with smoked salmon and nachos, garlic butter rice with herbs chilli and chicken stock, and to top it off, chocolate meringue which was !!!!! haha. thick and melted inside, with a crisp layer of melt in your mouth crust. WOW. haha. i rock. thanks to channel 16 of starhub cable. haha.

rotted at home most of the time, and tml shall be lazier cos i have nothing watsoever. so i'll most prob be cooking sth again. to those who will be eating blah food tml, im so sad for u. haha. i'll be watching more TV and gaining more recipes. but my sister scolded me for making her fat. haha. ive gained a horrible belly too.

will post photos another day when i have my phone beside me.

2008-03-16T21:30:00.002+08:00

f---ing sick. like last time in VJ sick. like KOR PUI sick. ew. making me very irritable. art today was crazy. i had 2 students at one time even. last sun i had one for the day. lol. yeah. and my conclusion is girls are better than boys at EVERYTHING. so yeah. SUCKERS. haha. 4 yr old girls can draw cats. 4 yr old boys draw fish also damn ugly. haha. yeah.

the sleepover was fun beyond words. ratio of guys to girls - 5:1 haha. the way they play wii is HILARIOUS. i videoed them. haha. then jianmin got wasted and damn high. which was seriously funny. then addison got siao and asked me to paint his nails black. oh wells. hope more pple can turn up next time.

yeah. ive finally made up my mind about my future and my courses. FINALLY. i should like. get an award. must start applying once i can open my eyes wide enough. haha right now i cant even taste my fish bee hoon.

ok. anyway love u guys. thanks for coming to the impromptoo sleep over. haha. and love all those that didnt come too.

2008-03-14T00:21:00.002+08:00

busy days that start at 9 and end at 10.30pm. but moments sneaked in during intervals are magic:) nuff said.

THE CLASS SHOULD READ MY BLOG MORE OFTEN. ITS MORE USED THAN THE STUPID 06S55 BLOG. haha. please lahhh. im the source of all communication.

2008-03-12T00:34:00.004+08:00

ballet pic and xinyi haha. NAUGHTY GIRL.

2008-03-12T00:13:00.004+08:00

the pics from NYDC:)

2008-03-10T00:00:00.005+08:00

yeah. lots of things happened over the weekend. firstly, results. i was pretty upset about my B in the first few moments. but l8r on i realised that i had been failing econs over the past 2 years so im really okay and happy about my AAAB. haha. thanks dawn chow. -rolls eyes- then uni application... (ugh) then so many other things. im just glad im still alive man, and not dead over my crazy schedule.

i cant handle technology. first, blogger does not wanna upload anything other than this photo, so ballet people and nydc pple, im so sorry go kill blogger. secondly i cant email anyone or open my compose mail thing. thirdly i cant edit my photos. DAMN WHATS WRONG WITH THE WORLD.

2008-03-05T09:51:00.002+08:00

Im laughing my ass off. called a babysitting agency and told them i'm an art teacher for kids. they said lotsa expatriates want someone who can babysit and teach art and craft so aasked me how much i charge. my mom called an art sch and asked about the fees for coming to a house to teach art. its 70 bucks for an hour!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 3 kids is 90 bucks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-->>FRIDAY=DOOMSDAY

2008-03-04T23:41:00.004+08:00

RESULTS!!!!!!!!!! SCARED LIKE HELL. HOWWWWWW???? I THINK IM GONNA DIE FROM NERVOUS BREAKDOWN.

I THINK NO MATTER WHAT I GET I WILL STILL BREAKDOWN. HAHA. JUST LET OFF ALL MY STEAM. GOOD ALSO CRY, BAD ALSO CRY. THATS WHY MUST GO WITH WATER-PROOF MAKEUP. LOL. AND TISSUES. AND A PILLOW. OR WITH SOMEONE WHO CAN BE MY PILLOW. HAHAHAHAHA. AIYA SHIT LAH. SCARIER THAN THE SCARIEST MOVIE.

YA LA AND THERE IS THIS GIRL AT WORK, O'LEVELS GOING ON POLY. I THINK SHE'S HORRIBLY SLUTTY. KEEPS FLIRTING WITH THE MALAYS AND WHINING AROUND... MSGING EVERY GUY THERE. EVERY SENTENCE SCOLDING VULGARITIES, NAMELY SHE ONLY HAS 2 TO SCOLD BUT THEY ARE VERY RECURRING. ACT COOL ONLY. IM TOO CLASSY FOR THIS KIND OF GIRL. OMG. HAHA. DEN THEY WERE TEASING HER ABOUT SCOLDING VULGARITIES AND SHE WAS PRETENDING SHE COULDNT STOP SCOLDING IT BY SCOLDING THEM WHEN THEY WERE TEASING HER... LIKE "FUCK LAH.. OOPS... CHEEBYE.. AIYA CANNOT STOP" LIKE HAVE SOME DIGNITY SIA. STUPID. EVEN THE ITE PEOPLE DONT SCOLD AS MUCH.

photos frm new year and dunno when. my now extinct party life. haha. eelin was not wearing bra omg haha.

2008-03-02T23:28:00.003+08:00

kays. im officially an art teacher! how cool is that man. but seriously everywhere i go now the races are grouped together. i mean come on man, stop talking in languages the others dun understand lah. but most of the teachers are students studying art in nafa and laselle. im kinda noob there.

the kids are horrible! well some are adorable and fewer are gifted. but seriously. damn hard to get the kids to sit still the entire lesson. there was a boy of 6+ who was using the hair dryer to blow at me instead of drying the painting. haha. damn cute. then he wanted to colour the rooster purple and turquoise. haha. i let him cos those are my fave colours. lol. then there was this girl who i LOVE. cos she actually had talent and listened to me, so her painting was DAMN NICE. and it feels satisfying. wanted to show the whole world her painting but must be shy on the first day lol. the others were just plain gay. "i wanna draw a pink and white pony with wings" and "i wanna draw myself wearing a dress".

anyway my working hours damn good. can choose also. so quite shiok.

tonight i had supper at nydc. haha made my own baked rice- meatballs, sausages, chillies, bacon and cheese. burnt the edges so YUM. i love it there (besides the racist people). really gonna get fat sia. haha. seriously i dun really care what race people are. as long as i cant smell them can alr. (even chinese smell too yuck BO) den actually can take the mushroom soup but i too full. haha. and its okay if they pay me peanuts. as long as my hours are flexible and i m treated well im happy.

and yeah. another event of my busy day. played yuckily for my softball match. DIE. cant even judge fly balls. angie was damn pro at batting. unlike me. but its less stressful cos they dun have expectations and i like that. and even if they are not happy i cant understand what they are saying in japanese so heck care. haha.

oh ya got my pay from shokudo alr. after CPF its 1192. only. SUCKS. and the stupid citibank card is not an atm+visa. only visa. lousy shit.

gonna sleep. its a new month and a new week. cool. damn fast its march alr. FTT this month. siaaannn. my driving teacher is gonna die once i finish learning. go burn his car and destroy his kiam pa face. so AP for what. damn you.

blahish

2008-02-29T23:35:00.007+08:00

feeling rather idiotic now. got the idiotic feeling. sian. lol. work was fun. but from a chinese environment now its a malay world. so yeah. not used to being the minority race. haha. cos they tend to group together and make fun of other pple. like the poor indian. and me. haha. idiots. really feeling very blahblah now. dunno why. SIANNNN. I'm J at work. cos they malays cant say my name. or remember it. its okay. not like i can remember their names anyway. haha.

passed the first round of interview for my art teacher job. haha. lugged my paintings to the centre and almost died. i think they were more impressed at my strength than my paintings. lol DAMN HEAVY. the next round is tml its a trial lesson. gonna teach tml. haha. if can den i get the job. its 50 bucks for 8 hours a day, 10-6pm. i can still work at nydc cos can start at 7-12am. so yeah. 2 jobs. not bad lah. means one day of full work is gonna get me 75 bucks. haha maybe i'll be called Ms. J at art school. that would be cool. having a Ms. to my name. lol

but my schedule like packed sia. sigh. haha like worse than shokudo sia. like that its 10-12. but at least one is sitting one is standing. and its a diff experience. sth i wanna do. always wanted to teach kids stuff. haha. seeing them for an hour at the time is adorable. anything after that they become brave and do naughty things. so its good for me cos before i can bash them up they are shooed away by their parents. haha. and little boys are SO CUTE!!!! sigh. i think i'll be straight and plain the first few times just so i dun screw up. or let them walk all over me. and its cool cos its just bloody cool. (too late to think of adjectives). haha.

ya and stupid sister. so annoyed with her idiotic ways. should be kicked and rolled up in a giant tortilla wrap and then SQUISHED so the guacamole icks her out of her mind.

anyway. can you feel summer around the corner? haha. its HOT. its barely spring and i feel summer. excuse to buy new clothes. haha

more spam

2008-02-29T00:56:00.003+08:00

class bbq on jan 1st. yeah. ronghua with his multi bbqing technique. jianmin burning all our food. ruiyang being annoyingly wasted and RED. what a night. lol. see you all soon at vj. OMG.

photo spamming

2008-02-29T00:37:00.004+08:00

just put all the photos from my camera into the com so in a photo spamming mood. these are from Switzerland and Italy. Switz is more picturesque. but the photo at the top of my blog with the horse and sunset is from Italy. haha. looks surreal right.

Crazy stuff and shopping

2008-02-28T23:58:00.005+08:00

Yesterday i had fun cooking japanese mochi using my own recipe of water and glutinous flour. haha. and yeah. put it in red bean drinks with a leaf from my garden. made the brownies my sis bought prettier as well by doing watever to it. lol. damn fun love doing stupid things like this.

ya and forgot when i took the pasta photos. done by ME again. haha. its fun to pluck leaves from your garden and stick it into your food. lol

went out with serhua today to explore the nether regions of singapore shopping. haha. bought 2 pieces today. haha. but had lotsa fun. SO THERE all you people who didnt wanna REPLY me. went to Haji lane and Ann siang hill where designer clothes are sold cheaply (for the former only)

yay. okay damn happy now. see you all soon dearies... ya and miss you:)

2nd job.

2008-02-27T19:23:00.003+08:00

First day at NYDC. i think kitchen work is growing old on me. rather do service. but anyway. its good for me. haha. im cooking oven baked rice and penne so have to remember all the diff kinds of items and toppings for each one. not bad lah. its only 5 hours everyday and 4 days a week. but i have to wear a f***ing hairnet. SO FUGLY. haha.

jason the floor manager of shokudo called me to ask me go back. lol. NAH. but he's nice lah.

the ho wei kang said in his email results next week. lol. sigh. what to take, what to take.

jiaying2468@gmail.com

2008-02-26T12:05:00.003+08:00

the woman was so annoyed when i gave her my super retarded email address to look for a job. thats why i made a new one for official use. lol. jiaying2468@gmail.com i will still be using the retarded one for msn tho. haha. too lazy to start up a new contacts list. kayy. til later. still thinking if i should go down for the nydc thing.

TV, food and couch.

2008-02-26T00:18:00.007+08:00

bored. haha. but that rocks. havent lied on my bed the whole day since work started. and now im free of all things. uncle said that he wont force me to go back cos he knows it sucks. so yeah. im gonna find another job soon. but for now, SHIOK AH. haha.

yepyep. so if anyone knows of a cool job tell me ya. no waitressing tho. it is pointless. the tables just get dirty again.

you make me smile. haven't done that in a while. your edges are a little rough. but thats what makes me laugh. your heart is kind, and that makes you the best i can find. gnight :)

2008-02-23T22:34:00.002+08:00

quit my job today after getting tired of being in charge of all the stupid screw ups others make. they called me to go back but whats done is done. not gonna give up my freedom man. the air outside smells too good. heh.

maybe i'll go work in an office for a while for a change. or sleep at home enjoying my bed for a week or two. lol...

feeling a little weird these days. maybe i'm too tired and need some rest. dunno how to describe. haha. should sleep early tonight.

its the weekend!!!!!!! haha.

SOUS chef jia

2008-02-20T00:47:00.002+08:00

i love seeing huge pots and woks in the main kitchen. haha. makes me happy. i love cutting fruits for platters and peeling oranges for juice -if my sis knows she'll never peel another orange for me ever again so im not telling her. haha. but i hate my stupid hours. sigh. thurs im going for interview at nydc. see how. lol. maybe i'll be a chef forever

2008-02-18T23:47:00.002+08:00

didnt realise how nice this song is until now. haha. please sing this to me. miss ya

someone somewhere somehow somewhen

2008-02-17T23:14:00.003+08:00

yeah. 3 more days til pay day. then i'll think about leaving if i have to work like a dog and miss all my ballet lessons still.

and yeah. happy again. its the correct path i took im sure now. yeah. and thanks, for everything. the book, the donuts, the chocolate, the ice cream and just the morning. the lovely morning of cool breezes and clear skies. just like yesterday afternoon. and yeah. look up and u will remember me, cos i am always there in the heart of my universe.

the journey has been full of humps and confusing situations. but it is enjoyable just being in the seat of the roller-coaster. when moments take your breath away and your heart forgets to beat. and never will i want it to be entirely smooth. let it be exciting all the way, unexpected and fun.

for now, words cannot describe anything.

im waiting til next week. hopefully time will be good to us. and only then shall my eyes sparkle again.

just kidding around.

2008-02-14T01:29:00.002+08:00

Teen Profile

Provided by: Astrology.com
Aries Girl

A Ram girl can be quite a handful! Spunky, sassy, and full of life, Ram girls have energy to burn and will certainly catch a few eyes along the way. That's what she's hoping to do. She's got an independent streak and could be a pioneer in many ways. It wouldn't be uncommon for her to be president of her service club, a role which suits her well and would make you proud. As Aries rules the face and head, it's a sure bet she'll leave the house with lipstick on- probably red since that's her color. Keep an eye out for her, though. Her penchant for rushing through life means her mascara might be smudged or her shoes left untied. At times, she can be a bit selfish - some days, what's hers is hers, period. She wouldn't even think to swap clothes with her best friend, let alone her bratty little sister. Be prepared to play referee in some sibling feuds. Oh well. The ever-active Ram girl enjoys aerobics and a spirited step class, even the martial arts, although team sports are okay, too. Dynamic and active, she'll be rushing off from one activity to another with just enough time left to grab dinner, do homework, and chat on the phone. She's self-sufficient and goes after what she wants with a great deal of energy and willpower. When it comes time for the big school decision, big is the operative word. She'll fit in well at a big-school, making places like the University of Texas or Ohio State the ones to consider if you can bear to let her go. Once there, she will find success, and you might even find her leading an impassioned protest Look out, world, the Ram girl is on her way, and she is going places!

hahahahahahahahahahahahaha. true not? the saggitarius one is true too. lol.

work is fun. laughing at idiots who ask for free water "cos my friend is taking medicine" and that jackson. damn fu-ed up. lol

i hate my hours

2008-02-12T00:23:00.000+08:00

i like working. just not every single f ing day and from 10 to 11. its nonsense. i eat dinner at 10pm and lunch at various times of the day. and its always boiled chicken. tmd.. i was relishing my fish just now at home at 12am man. imagine, fish. anyway. lol. i love the people there lah so not quitting YET. we all quit tgt then see how the child labour bosses function. lol.

let me elaborate.

jackson this idiot who cant read or write around my age. blocks my way and does nothing except stones, beat his hands in time to the retarded songs there, or "hi can i help u" but he OH-SO-CANNOT-HELP-HIMSELF. some lady will be like - what is this drink? then i will start saying something then he will oh its apple WHEN IT IS NOT APPLE. someone asked what is yuzu tea and he said it is hot or cold. i scolded him fuck today. lol and i seldom scold people vulgarities.

the uncle cannot read or write english either but at least his brain is better than jackson's. he can make juices and listen so he can help me get ice. but he cant press the machine properly either.

so. the idiot boss planned for me to work full shift 10-11 everyday this week. I told him i will quit if he makes me do that. so tml i only start at 3. i think he scared sia. if i go i think they good game. lol. i'd PAY jackson to stop getting in my way and stop working. yay so tml i can have my violin lesson.

saw 5 pple in my mrt cabin with psp. not including me. walao. damn siao. and heard pple discussing v day clothes and whatevers. couples hugging each other like they were conjoined and yeah. the works. v day is overrated. doesnt help that mine is going to be spent with the cooks. and the tikopeh uncle.

yah and they conned us. we get 950 a mth. not 9.50 an hour. CON. BULLSHIT SIA. but i bargained and i get 1100 a mth now.

life sucks

2008-02-10T23:44:00.000+08:00

life sucks life sucks life sucks.
when you've come to a fork in the river for so long and finally inch toward on side, when suddenly the tide brings u all the way and u look back at the rapidly disappearing path.
when no matter what u do u end up hurting the both people who love you.
when its all your fault and nothing u can do will stop the hatred brought upon you.
when someone you have truly, deeply, madly loved even though you knew he was not exactly perfect will never love you the same way again.
when everywhere u go it reminds you of the terrible loss.
when u are not sure of the choice that u made but its too late to turn back.
when u are supposed to be happy but f it u are freaking sad.
when what your brain tells you sounds like mashed potatoes being squished. and your heart is nowhere to be found.

for now. being alone is the best solution. its okay even if valentine's day is nearing cos i dont give a f about it. alone to think and to breathe and to cleanse myself. no one to turn your brains into mush and your heart into fondue.

i am nobody by myself. but when i was with the guy i might never be with again, i was super powered. now im just. nothing again.

thats what love does to u. crushes u one moment and lifts you to the highest peak in another. and right now. im at the centre of the earth, weighed down by rocks and lava. crushed to pulp and disintegrating to nothingness. thats a caution to all those people buying v day gifts this instant. its a double edged sword and most of the time it pierces your heart and twists the blade a few rounds before pulling it sideways to slit it in half. and there is no right or wrong. just pain and more pain.

somewhere there is this perfect guy for everyone. i just dont know who is my perfect guy. or how perfect or imperfect he is. or ... i'll just be sitting here where no one can see me until he comes and takes me away. or is he the one who hates me now.

fairy-tales are stupid. my life is more like a soap opera. complication after complication. never ending confusion and choices. i hate choices. why do i have so many i still dont understand. why cant people find the balance between love and like and hate. i hate love. it is too powerful for me to handle or comprehend. i hate things i cant handle. and right now nothing is in my capabilities of handling because it is dangerous and like a cauldron of hot dark magic. wish i was a witch then i could know how to. but im freaking puny and yeah. hopeless.

hopeless. not any princess jiaying cos that was wat he used to call me. now im not anyone special. just some ordinary girl. 2 eyes and one nose. the one crying at her computer.

maybe the new path will be one closer to perfection. but then again, whats perfection without love.

2008-02-08T23:29:00.000+08:00

lost 30 plus bucks in total due to cny gambling. but i lose that every year. lol so its expected. sigh. my sis won 100 plus man. thats just not fair. haha. cos every year she gambles damn well and i sit out really early due to lack of funding.

tml got work. siannnn. haiz. hope the bosses give ang pao.

all in all, today went well.

happy cny darlings.

2008-02-08T00:44:00.000+08:00

back from malaysia. realised that it is not THAT bad.. was bearable, except for the inexorable heat and bo liao ness. partly my boredom was lifted cos they just installed a piano there so i just sit there and anyhow play my usual made up on the spot songs. then i almost destroyed my dad's car by scratching it. the sound was tres horrible and i thought i was as dead as a dog. but thanks to honda's superior technology, there was not a trace on the car. mwahahaha.

my dad cut another hole in my armpit. sucks lah how come my stupid skin so problematic. now cannot wear the clothes i bought liao. haha. hmmm, this time i didnt look at the operation cos it was grosser than before. yuckkk. i just know im not meant for this.

yeahh. my talents should be amplified and fa yang guang da. haha. not wasted on some stupid boring job. alot of my relatives are taking courses which they dun like. i think i should do sth i like and be happy rather than dread work everyday. and i dont wanna be stressed by life and death situations so ya. doctor is out.

the fireworks were not bad as usual, but what amazed me was that a young girl who looked no older than me has a baby boy and her tummy is like my mom's. lol. im sure dreading the day i give birth. its so tormenting, that bulge of withered skin around your abdomen. maybe one day, but sure not anytime soon or the next 10 years. im gonna enjoy life first, then worry about kids later in my 30's.

ya and tonight im gonna sleep in my bed. lol. boy i miss it, even for one night. my queen size waterbed with feather pillows..... haha. and no lee si ying to kick me in the middle of the night. haha. i was playing with my siblings today and we got into pillow fights, waterfights, and chasing fights. haha. enjoyable things that everyone misses out on cos they are too mature. i dont ever wanna grow up man. stay 19 forever.

speaking of which. turning 19 next mth. something to experience. have alr come to terms that im no longer 18 cos pple ask me my age alot at work. its like making this transition over these few years from a girl to a woman. i guess whats most impt is living life without any regrets and to the fullest, and not how long you stay a certain age. cos time goes by so fast it whisks you away to yet another level in a blink of an eye. just yesteryear i was cycling to piano looking at vj and telling myself to get into that school during sec4.

vj was a place i learnt softball. haha. not anything educational like science or math but that. i learnt hardwork, determintation and perseverence through my sport and i havent a single regret of rejoining my sec school cca. initially wanted to join soccer. but stopped cos i was like, " wat the hell am i doing with my legs?!? when i should be throwing instead. " so ya.

maybe i also learnt the meaning of a bonded class, which i never had in crescent. the friendships forged were seriously one of a kind. something to treasure and def not take for granted.

and i stopped believing in fairytale endings, and movie love. all the kisses and whatever, that is nothing compared to real love. someone there for you when you need him, to help you and support you in whatever you do. and to brighten up your day when u see him. thats love. at least thats what i think love is.

so there you guys have it. yet another piece of my life.

im a boring girl

2008-02-05T02:12:00.000+08:00

just realised that the past few posts were about work. im getting boring. sighhh. should post something else next time. like how the benches at east coast suck, but people forget about the suckiness cos they are having a good time. they are for people whose butts have a dent running across perpendicular to their butt crack.

and i decided that having a cool english name is not cool, but act cool. like those girls at work. what, vaal, velynn, and whatwhatwhat name i cant remember cos its soooo wierd. im happy with jiaying. maybe i'll take away the space inbetween officially one day cos its better like that. but then again. i dunno. haha. Lee jia ying. the greatest woman ever lived. jiaying the great. jia ying. aiya. who cares. everyone will know me by then. LOL

work, life and sluts

2008-02-05T01:29:00.000+08:00

work work work...

no life sia. haha. at least got kailee with me to laugh about holding our pee.

my shifts are from 11 to 11 with 3-6 break. COS WHY? cos no one speaks or reads english at my kiosk. so i have to do EVERYTHING. including making the ice lemon tea, yuzu tea, chocolate, macha and calpis yogurt. suckkksss. so if dun have then its not the uncle's fault, nor the abit useless jackson's fault. its MINE. when the stupid things screw up, its my fault too. dammit. but im damn good lah, im teaching them to read and make drinks. so i can have more free time. since my boss sacked the other guy who can understand english. SIAN JI PUI. haha.to the max-a-rax.

feet hurt, fingers dry and coarse, eyes read and poofy.

but it all goes away when people come to visit me:) thankssss. or send me donuts or secret letters through the front desk girl. or poems in smses. haha. yep. there was a spring in my step today. also cos i helped this guy learn about valentine's day presents. HE WAS GOING TO GIVE A WOODEN SURFBOARD KEY CHAIN TO HIS GF OMG. i put some sense into his brain during 3-6. so he got her a necklace from diva instead. chosen by me duh, cos he couldn't choose. guys are so dumb. thats what i advocate everyday in this lifetime. lol.

going malaysia for cny. kns. i rather have violin until my fingers grow natural armor from the strings cutting into my left hand. haha. cos i have to work on sat and sun. sian sian sian.

but even then, i try my best at work to fulfil every demand and to meet the idiotic queue. everyone tells me not to stress so much and to relax, but im a perfectionist and i cant stand not doing what i am supposed to. i know its not my business so my pay is rather fixed. but even then. haha. i am like that. i just hope it pays off in the form of recognition and respect from others.

i realise that all the managers at work speak hokkien and singaporean-chinese. maybe thats a tool you gotta have in life to blend in with others. sucks. and i know nuts about hokkien and chinese. and work has alot of people who didnt complete school and ITE people. when i have my own business the people have to speak and read fluent english. come on what the hell is wrong with the singaporean education system that people cant speak english properly. lots of annoyance in the mere fact that i have to converse in chinese to even young people my age, while they speak to me in coarse vulgarities mixed with uncouth mixed chinese-hokkien, as colourful as sunsets on planes. and the girls there.. they are sluts. obviously trying to attract guys in their bra strap-showing racer back tops, tight fitting clothes and flirty tone of comments. i have no respect for them. prettiness comes from poise and class, not black bras underneath white racerback tanks which pop out from the low cut collars. so sue me for being elitist, it is true about less educated people. im quite happy with the way i have been brought up, thanks to alot of softball and fine arts. i have determination and my own stye of being who i am. i respect the uneducated chefs more than them cos at least they have skills and hard work to see them through life.

so yeah. just hope my kids grow up well. i think if they dont do well enough to go to a decent school, i will put them in international schools so that they at least have the basic communication skills and confidence. but what kids, haha. im 19. young to loads of people who stop and buy drinks from my stall. still have my entire future waiting for me to mould. so yeah. just gonna be me the way i have always been. i think i can succeed.

and yeah. students meal rocks. i dun even have to show my non existent ezlink for macdonalds. haha. thanks man.

2008-01-30T23:50:00.000+08:00

working is tough. bosses can be horrible and mean and not understanding and uncaring and immune to all the shit and effort u put in the job. but aside from that the friends are what makes life worth living, and yeah. thanks for being there and caring for me, giving me the whole packet of tissue and lying for me. thanks to those people including kailee and chenlu my new colleagues and the ones who may not be able to read this cos they may not know how to read. lol. but brilliant friends are my everything. thanks.

and to the many men ive known to have used buffers and other means to beautify themselves. MWHAAHAHAHA. a big laugh to all you gays. i know its my aim to turn every man gay to be my shopping partner, but this is TOO MUCH. since 1st jan 2008 there has been an increase in the number of nail buffers with testosterone. while im doing it right now for myself, i cant help being tickled by the thought of my uncle buffing his nails. that 60+ yr old.

sigh. dont feel much like a princess now. maybe more like cinderella, scrubbing dishes and what not. was singing that song to myself just yesterday. oh wells. soon i'll be taken away by my prince to live in a castle.

chef jia

2008-01-24T20:24:00.000+08:00

work is tiring. really. especially if you have those act act guys who only stand around and talk cock, like this horrible man i decided i dun like called wilson. so there is a pile of stuff to be washed and no one is doing that. so i do it. like i always do when there is a need to. not that i love it. but yeah. im like that. haha. so i scrubbed and cleaned and mopped. then chopped leek, coated tempura, cleaned saba fish.... and so on.. so tiring. but i think its nicer to do than office jobs, so its okay. i was so tired that i drank coffee at lunch. now im going ballet in a few mins time, and yeahhhhh. haha.. i think i'll be dead by tonight as usual.

and then there are lots of guys i consider perverts, always trying to be funny. but i make sure i dun give them any wrong ideas by not talking to them if i dont need to, and making friends with those that are better people. they are all rather nice lah. just maybe they are malaysians so they have this "wah got girl must see" kind of mentality. (no offense, jiahao. haha. but its true. anyway my dad is a malaysian too)

my head was telling me about his gf today and i found it really funny cos he was complaining that she is very lazy and doesnt cook or clean and has to sleep with air con. lol. he says he tells her she is very ugly and fat. but at the end of the day she knows he dotes on her so ya. lol

makes life easier when i have a locker at work so i dun need to go in stupid clothes, earning stupid stares from mrt commuters. i saw that girl from 1st 3 mths, siwei today at lunch. she was damn pretty, having an office job. nice haiir, make up everything. oh wells. haha. and i was so unglam, sitting at the roadside with my sandwich and coffee ice blended. lol. but im having more fun and i love my job even tho it is tiring cos its so fun. and i can look pretty if i wanna. just that i dont wan make up dripping into my teppanyaki. lol.

i wan my red swatch watch!!!! everytime i walk past i stare at it wishfully. the v-day watch is nice too, but i think the red on is more practical and versatile.

gtg for ballet now. hope to see the class soon. haha. love you all man. hope all of you are having a great time. ps, im damn scared about the results. its not that i fear failure. itts that i fear applying to uni, which is HORRIBLY TIRING. i rather clean dishes.

quirky worky work

2008-01-21T21:51:00.000+08:00

just finished work, the second day. i cleaned fish today and yeah. cut my fingers (many times) with the butter knife. its so stupid but u can do that. im gonna have dishpan hands btw so anyone who thinks my hands are worth holding, think again. haha. just kidding. so funny. i was cleaning the stupid salmon and started being bored. so i imagined the fish being massaged by me, which was wat i was almost doing.. then the guy came to tell me i had to carry the fish by digging your fingers into its eye sockets. omg. the poor fish si bu ming mu. so i was very nice to it. haha. carried it by the gills, its not as bad. then after that it got boring again when i had to salvage the fish meat near the bones with a teaspoon and 2 buckets of fish remains. so i talked to the fish. haha. bitched about the people there, (not that they were horrible or anything. just bitch lor) haha. like, theres this guy who walked past me twice and said yuck cos i was touching fish, so i told it that im gonna kill the guy if he ever said it to me again. and then i was singing to the fish. mwahahaha. wat the hell. okay lah it is fun i love my job. the only thing is i have to fake speak japanese to all the customers. which is. EMBARRASSING. so yeah. please dun laugh at me. konichiwaaa. tml is off day and wed im gonna cook. lol. never thought i would be so domesticated. to all the people who think i cant cook. SO THERE.

fatty bom bibi

2008-01-16T23:19:00.000+08:00

yeah. made this la mian with mee sua too. i think im growing hell fat lah. that is my bro during a buffet dinner with choc fountain.

had one day of work. earned 70 bucks i think for just standing around watching people do their stuff. the tiring part will come mon when i need to learn to cook.

pictures

2008-01-15T14:14:00.000+08:00

i am one pro person i love myself.. these pretty cupcakes are baked by ME!!! mwahahahaha.

and yeah. prom photos

2007-12-29T16:54:00.000+08:00

ok.

now both days got 1 person each who cannot make it.

my preferred date is 31st actually.

and can help me by voting can?

bbq

2007-12-29T04:23:00.000+08:00

anyway ideas for snacks. popcorn cheese balls cherries. megaming not coming

my cousin is damn bad influence lahhhh. i might just buy a pack of cigs

bbq stuff again

2007-12-27T22:43:00.000+08:00

food:
serhua
eric
kailee
jiaying (chicken wings)

drinks:
jianmin
ruiyang
ronghua
terence

snacks:
shiyun
xinyi

okay? i'll add more pple to the food part when i get an idea of who is confirmed. jh has to book in so he is not coming unless he gets an MC.
yeah guys and girls are both invited to stay over so please do. or it will be very sad life

life's colours

2007-12-27T17:10:00.000+08:00

this is personal stuff, the bbq stuff is below.

just felt like blogging.. was supposed to be coaching today but i was too tired from my northern lights novel last night and thinking about the bbq... so im at home and emoing a little about life and stuff. its so wierd that i've got so much courage outside but yet so little inside. like sometimes i feel pressured to act in a way that pple think is very tres jiaying, even though im in a quiet mood.. and sometimes i dont know what im feeling, a little like im not sure wat i wanna do in life. a lot of decisions now make a lot of difference and its scary to choose. its like the essay on choice, and now i understand that its really true that sometimes choice sucks. i dont know who i am really, am i the jiaying that pple noe or am i just acting and im someone else inside. just thinking about how no one owes anybody anything, but in reality people play a really important part in your decisions. and about love. the most ambiguous, wierd, revolting but pure emotion, that it doesnt seem like an emotion anymore, but a chain and a ball at times and warm solitude at others. i wish this confusing part of me will go away or mature so i can have concrete answers to all my unasked questions. but it cant, and i have to decide so many things at this dizzying moment where one day i can feel completely different from the next. which of course sucks. but maybe its good cos i sometimes feel crazily happy and elated and... i dunno how to say anymore. emotions are too fixed. not enough descriptions. they should be in colours, texture, gloss or matt.. acrylic or watercolour. if they were, i would be feeling a certain turquois that represents turmoil and serenity at the same time. intense and rich. smooth, sweet and bitter. the exact shade that makes you KNOW for sure that u are sure, but then again tells u that u arent sure. i dont think anyone actually gets what im typing, but its okay. haha. im just growing up i guess. when i was a child, i would have a pink emotion. sweet and salty. not fushia and hot, but warm and milky. like latte, but without the bitterness of coffee. salty from the air, and not the taste. the pink would shimmer, but not sparkle, and it would glow and not shine. its true. im not typing for the sake of entering SOMETHING into this stupid blog. maybe perhaps when i am concrete, my colour would fade due to the lack of foolishness, and it will be maroon-grey.sour, perhaps. im not really sure of this yet.but i will be. i hope. someday. but then again i would want my old colour back by then. haha. life is stranger than living. living just isnt exactly life, it is the process. but life rather is the entire picture i guess. lol. whover can understand this shit i'll marry you. but i bet you'll be an insane prisoner from the yalu mountains or some freak. sigh. listening to stardust by michael buble and he is talking about the purple dust. lol. i can picture it already. glittering and dark. just thinking rubbish. its gonna be a new year and i might have grown up a little this year. i think. was mooding over my lost christmas that whooshed by like every other chrismas. things i wanted to do, should have done and could do, all never touched even lightly. and now, im lost again, after i thought i found my path. so ya. singing christmas songs from love actually my favourite love movie of all time til my death. and ive decided that i wanna be a singer. lol. what a lofty dream. this dream shall be pale blue. with swirls of peach milk that i can only see and smell, but i cant touch it. so i dont know what it feels like. haha maybe i've found my writing style after all. its like getting high on heroin like issac in heroes and doing great things. oh but he was brutally sliced. haha.. i dont wanna stop writing now. its like my feelings are on a runaway train and speeding towards a doorway marked "comprehension". but as usual, almost immediately, my train halts like in superman and goes backward into darkness. not even a door called "confusion", but just dissappears into nothingness. a hell lot of colours but they appear so muddled that it turns out to be dark blackness. its like cheese. i have holes in myself. that represent my understanding, (or lack thereof). i think i am a little like northern lights. a multitude of colours. haha. like my hair but only more glorious and varied. try describing yourself. i cant do that about myself. thats why Mr kwek's form was never filled properly. maybe he should read our blogs.haha. anyway im too colourful to be a doctor. doctors are grey. like concrete. haha. bankers are navy blue. i wanna be any colour i want, whenever i want to. haha. thought about environmental engineering too, peifang.. save the earth and all. haha. but i think they are brown. okay i think thats enough. shall go do something else now, although im getting the irritating conflicting feeling again about my last few words. haha. it was not even a sentence ago that my brain is rebelling. tataa.
oh yeah. now i feel devoid of colour. like i painted the page and now im just white. haha

bbq

2007-12-27T14:16:00.001+08:00

im damn annoyed with the horrible lack of planning from me.. now everyone is not free on 31st cos i planned late. like got more qi fen on 31st sia. and i welcome staying over cos anyway if everyone leaves at 11 then its so lame. so f it lah it shall be on the 1st ~ 2nd kay? anyone staying over?

what we need:

2/3 types of alchohol
3/4 mixers and juices

i'll get chicken wings. i know serhua can choose the rest haha. just tell the pple under this section what to buy kay.

popcorn sushi... i dunno.

dun spend over 20 bucks yeah? if it exceeds that let me know i shall ask more pple to share.

oh yeah. just to confirm the date, fill in the poll okay?

yeah one more. sorry the stupid prata initiative went bust.

BBQ of the old year

2007-12-27T02:39:00.000+08:00

hey classmates. i think bringing more friends is cool. like sh can bring si han, pf can bring stef and rh can bring charles while ry brings jiaxu etc. pple we know preferably. and ask them to bring food or sth. even a pack of sausages is great. haha. im damn excited laaa. and tell the other 99% of the pple who don know that this is my blog kay. so far, rh ry sh kl jh are confirmed. that makes 6. someone please tell me how to secure my blog and make it password protected so i can post on how to get to my house. bye for now!!!

2007-12-26T00:55:00.000+08:00

haha im drunk with a few cousins and lying in the room quite dazed. haha. anyway class bbq okay 31st dec night at my place yeah? sms me to confirm attendance. muacks to everyone

2007-12-10T20:31:00.000+08:00

haha
someone subscribed to my brothers videos on youtube. so funy.
im leaving singapore in 5 hours.
to someone, happy birthday. haha.
see u all on 25th.